I need help removing her.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
