I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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