so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
