She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
