Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
my sisters under your porch take her home
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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