I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
