Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
