Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
