call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
