If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
