I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
