Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
