I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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