its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
