that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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