Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
