That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
