Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
