I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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