This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The feeling are messing with the penis
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
