at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
