I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
