I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Is Oprah even human
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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