talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Who did Billy Mays play for?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
