ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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