hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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