OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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