I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
