Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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