the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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