Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
