At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
