All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
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I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
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I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
How naked do you want me to be?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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