Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
