It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
