Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
