I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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