So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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