After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
