watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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