summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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