maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
