When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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