If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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