I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
