I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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