where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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