At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
