well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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