my vag is so smooth its legendary
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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