a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
