In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize