Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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