i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
