Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
whose ass print is on the piano?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
