How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
