YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
