I think i sorta joined a cult last night
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
